Thank you for reading. Yes, I am in weekly therapy, as I have been for the past 30 years, and I haven't run out of stuff to talk about. Sorry to hear about your dad. That must have been a difficult environment in which to grow up. The reason at the time that I wished I hadn't peeked was that part of me believed that the exorcism was going to work, and I had disobeyed their instructions by not keeping my eyes closed the whole time. It didn't "work" and I blamed myself for it because I had opened my eyes when I wasn't supposed to.